Remember when you were all excited about this band named Captain Asshole, and for once I was the one who had no clue who they were?

Maybe we should move to Germany so we can avoid fantasy baseball?

Haha that like never happens so I especially remember it well. Drove the Spotify algorithm for this album to the moon that year.

When we’re overseas, gonna be six hours into the future (or 5 if in the UK)

Yes exactly, less fake sports. Phone staring is not sports. Not even a fantasy. Unless torturing me is a fantasy of yours 😘


And yeah, it definitely did drive the algorithm for a while. That was a good year for music and shows. Glad you made me listen to them.

Also no fantasy friends Marcus – I see you on Facebook.

Me too. Makes singalongs infinitely more fun

So, the years passed and the music continued on distant shores and they were nice enough to last minute send us a digital copy so we can drink to it.

Right on.

And what are we drinking on this Thursday evening?

Alcoholic beverages.

Marcus get of Facebook


and we’re off!

~ Dave Lizewski ~


I gave the new A Wilhelm Scream a glance as well today and I love that band – this record has the opposite opener.

Full speed ahead, start with that energy. Bet they have a lot of pent up energy after two years of barely any shows.

Already really digging this.

Definitely imagining this being a wild one at a show.

I want a Dead Bars / Pkew Pkew Pkew / Captain Asshole tour please?

Can I order that?

Seriously I’d end up broke if I was rich enough to get shows I want.

I’d be down. That’d be a blast. That’s gotta be thing if it hasn’t been…right?

Probably #onlyineurope

~ The Sleepwalking Dead ~

I like this title.

Naturally. You know what type of band we’d get in lieu of any one or two of those bands hah

It’s a bit slower than the last track.

That was the first thing I noticed.

Seems to go hand in hand with the lyrics that I just skimmed before we started this track

“I’m always tired but I can’t fall asleep” could be my elevator pitch when asked about who I am.



Seems this song is hard on that struggle between “damn I want it all where is the next big thing” and “I just can’t do it all, I’m exhausted”

definitely relatable, there’s times I wake up and don’t know how to keep going on

Which I pretty much live on.

I really dig these repetitive outros as readers know by now.


There’s a beauty in simplicity when it comes to songs. It’s hard as well, get something solid and strong, without being too repetitive. Not many bands pull that off this well.

~ Boy, I’m Homesick! ~

True. And you know, I tend to be a sucker for simplicity.

Says our skramz dude

Simplicity in chaos kinda guy what can I say haha

Definitely more in vein of the opener as far as the bounciness

I think this is one of the better songs I’ve heard in a while. I feel like I’ve heard it before, I can’t place which song it is that it reminds me of.


This is you about New York these days, but you never left.

There’s a lyric in there that’d have been an AIM away message in the early aughts

It’s weird though, coming back somewhere you haven’t been in a while and seeing it just became a shell of the place you used to know. Maybe everyone moved on. Maybe it became too expensive. Maybe the life never revived itself. Maybe you’re too old and changed and just don’t know what it is.

Gonna crank this song when barreling out of the nest or dive that hasn’t gotten co-opted by chic wankery at suspect hours of the night

But there’s definitely a 24 hour edm club and a ton of drugs, next to where your old favorite diy venue used to be.

It’s a lot of things. Definitely defeating and breeding of resentment to an extent.

~ Ghost in a Nutshell ~

Upgrade, 2022 style 🤣

Captain Asshole really is the ultimate punk rock party band.

I assume they’re playing fest, right? Probably in the next round of announcements…right?

It’s the kind of lyrics people love in Midwestern emo bands and Spanish Love Songs without the self importance I always feel those bands exude.

Cool song title haha

Yeah, I don’t feel that pretension or Depression ™️ that I do in certain acts that well…ya already mentioned.

~ Crushing High Lifes ~

💯 title fyi

Can’t really say PBR now Fest lost that sponsor in exchange for High Life

Hazy with a chance of (beer) showers

Definitely brohugs set to audio

(meant in the most flattering way I possibly could mean that btw)

I like going hard and partying and this song seems to understand that.

I think this band does in general.

I also dislike the reality of “the amount of decades you’ve been alive describe the days of hangover”

understand that*

Visualizing us arm in arm belting out these new ones with a bunch of other similarly psyched people.

They’re really good at creating that powerful group everything as a band. Not just group vocals, the instruments are very tuned into those moments as well.

You mean it’s time to see if the Cold Wrecks dudes are still alive?


~ You’ve Smashed the Window with Your Head Fred ~

That title reads like a texts from last night ‘meme’

TFLN was legendary content back in the day

Back before social media basically became that entire site.

Ooh, has that vaguely slowed-down Midwest sort of open

Ooh nostalgia musicccccc

Became too meta


I hope the Fred mentioned in this song is a real person, because you can replace Fred with Marcus and it’d be autobiographical for me.


(also an unintentional callback to the prefest/fest we first met)

Haha, right?

~ Better Broken ~

More than halfway thru teh record

fucked up foreverrrrrr 👑

The sound is a bit more grown up than their first record, and lyrically, I think they sound more about that confusion that the past two years brought everyone – and that comes with getting older.

Lyrically this is bullseye, man

seem like conversations we’d have over drinks and tunes during many a late night too

Absolutely. It’s comforting to know we’re not alone in this – and that we’re not the only ones who want a catchy tune to it. Makes me want to start a band.

~ Apocalypse Whenever ~

Yeah, they really are the spiritual heirs to Latterman, aren’t they?

Just my .02 though, but can’t help think that.

(probably a comp levied their way a bunch I’m sure…)

This intro more than others for sure.

Also, early RCR

None of the bands that came from Latterman ever did a lot for me (early Iron Chic is cool) and after a very disappointing reunion show I saw by them in 2016, I forgot about them.

But this song definitely has that Latterman sound I did used to dig

Will still swear by Iron Chic, as we saw them last week and will probably post that boozexperience somewhere before end times


Yeah, I’ll update the site this weekend at latest. Drug Church boozexperience isn’t live either.

That’s a month now? I’ve been slacking off!

To respond to your vocal “somewhere before end times”, I do know I really am pushing it with this weekend.

3 weeks, I think. Hard to say that we’re not just living in one elongated day.

~ The One with Unagi ~

Man, this album really hasn’t let up one iota yet…has it? 🏎️

Ugh, it’s been a while since songs hit on a personal level, but this is almost painful, haha.

Always heartening to realize they still can.

This song itself still has the speed but even musically, this chorus is sad.

There’s days I reach out to old friends and the conversation just stalls. Part of me is scared of visiting this summer. I know I changed, I know my friends must have as well. Do we really have anything left in common?

Man, there’s definitely some aspect in people I interacted with before and since the worst of the pandemic…

(and also my own family especially within the turmoil of the last year)

We all had friends we grew apart of this pandemic, some due to the political and common sense divides, some due to the physical distance, some due the lack of being able to travel.

~ Home Alone II ~

That was almost a Goodbye Blue Monday opening

looks at lyrics

::im in this song and i don’t like it::

This is a tough record to review track by track, it’s really more of a whole – it has the same vibe throughout. Or I can do what I do and make it about my personal experiences haha

Actual music journalists have it easy.

Also because this album hasn’t misfired yet

I love how predictable this “bridge soft, bridge loud” part is

And effective lol

I mean it I genuinely love the predictably of the record. It makes me excited about the next part.

~ Good News, Everyone ~

First time I’ve noticed their accent

we ain’t listening to a BR record. commas and shit go wherever

It’s visible throughout. It’s funny how a lot of people who sing outside their native language have a way more noticeable accent when they slow down.

~ Good, News Everyone ~

If Futurama was set in a newsroom

That’s it with this song, Neckscars! Is this the song that came out as a single and I said the same about?

Ohhhh was it?? I’ve no idea, tbh. Didn’t really listened to the singles cuz I knew we’d listen to the record in full when it dropped.

I’ve been ostracized for working, put down for living, or whatever the Neckscars lyrics are.

This is that song, I think they had that part that made me think of it in their 30 second sneak peak

Ah, right…guess you’re on to something.

~ Post Mälort ~

::looks longingly at the two airport bottles of mälort in our possession::


Note: 50ml bottles. It’s a workweek. We split one and had a shot.

How many songs about Fest can one band write?

Specifically one European band

Not enough


Definitely with ya on this album just having a more “mature” feel

It’s funny, America is a lot cooler when you don’t live here.

but…this is still, unmistakably Captain Asshole.

It is isn’t it? It’s Captain Asshole a few years older and a pandemic wiser.

that really does seem amplified for the U S of A

So I don’t mind the taste of Malört but I like bitter as a taste

🎵drinking mälort in an American basement reviewing the new Captain Asshole record🎵

It was less wretched than I recall

🎵 an American basement


Cue Penske File

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